Dating Tips, Relationship Advice and Sexuality!: Dating Tips - Relationship Advice

How to Deal with a Moody Man
By Molly Fahner - MSNBC.com

It’s women who have the rep for being the moody sex, but in reality, experts say, guys also have big swings. “Men act differently than women do in a funk, so it’s not always obvious what’s going on,” says Darlene Mininni, PhD, author of “The Emotional Toolkit.” We collected the best tactics for figuring out and dealing with his cranky frame of mind.

ID his temperamental type
Grumpy guys fall into two groups. The first is the sort who has the occasional bad day — he gets frustrated when his team loses a game or he has a crappy work experience. Then there’s the guy who rides an emotional roller coaster several times weekly.

This second breed regularly allows disappointing events to send him into a downward spiral. Clearly, he’s sensitive, which isn’t always a bad thing: “He may be able to pick up on cues when you’re upset,” says Terry Real, author of “I Don’t Want to Talk About It.”

Learn to read him
While women readily tend to spill what’s bothering them, guys are more prone to withdrawing and displacing their feelings by having odd or inappropriate reactions to small things. “Your boyfriend is unlikely to admit he’s upset he didn’t get promoted,” says Real. “Instead, he’ll rant about misplacing his socks. What you see is his mysterious agitation; what he’s doing is refusing to show vulnerability.”

So whether he’s an occasional grump or a chronic crank, you’ll need to dig to find out what’s up. But guys aren’t going to let the floodgates open if you say “Do you want to talk about it?” Try asking a specific question, like “What did your boss do today?” to draw him out.

If he clams up or gets bratty though, be firm. “Explain you’re there to listen but you’re not willing to be his emotional punching bag,” says Patricia Covalt, PhD, author of “What Smart Couples Know.” Let him make the choice to talk about it or not. If his foul temperament shows no signs of cracking, tell him you’re going out with friends and he can call if he needs you.

Put it in perspective
“It’s important to realize you’re not responsible for your man’s mood,” Real says. When you spend lots of time with a guy, you can get used to his bad behavior. So step back and tally how often he’s grouchy, especially toward you. Perhaps it’s more than you’d consciously allow yourself to tolerate. You have to decide for yourself when enough is enough.

Is Your Personality Ruining Your Relationship?
Dr. Laura Berman - MSNBC.com

What guarantees the success of a marriage? Is it physical attraction, fidelity, trust, humor and mutual respect? On the other hand, are there behaviors or personality traits that can predict the failure of a marriage? Dr. John Gottman, author of “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail,” has done plenty of research in this area and his findings suggest that there are indeed some personality traits that can doom a marriage to failure. Coupled with my own research and experience with couples’ therapy, here are the personality traits that might signal possible roadblocks on the path to martial bliss. Does one of these personalities sound like you?

The Pleaser
The Pleaser puts “we” before “me,” and has a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy with her spouse. The Pleaser does not need much alone time or privacy, and is happy spending plenty of quality time with her spouse. Pleasers often like to play by the rules — rules which may or may not be applicable at all times in a relationship. For instance, a Pleaser might strongly adhere to gender roles or certain routines, and may be unwilling to think outside the box or try new things within the relationship. However, marriage and family life do not always follow a set routine, and Pleasers might have a hard time adjusting to these changes. Furthermore, her motto of “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” can lead to staleness within the marriage … but it also means that she is a dependable and loyal partner.

The One-Upper
The One-Upper is so named because she always takes an argument to the next level. Instead of trying to empathize with her partner’s point of view, she skips right to the “persuasion” stage, where she tries to convince her partner that she is right. One-Uppers rarely argue without becoming very impassioned. However, it is possible for One-Uppers to resolve conflicts, since they are open about their feelings, both positive and negative. They also tend to be analytical and honest (if sometimes brutally so), which can help keep the relationship moving forward. But watch out: One-Uppers do get stuck in conflict mode, which can lead to constant fighting.

The Avoider
Avoiders tend to deny the existence of problems within their relationships, or they admit the existence of problems but only work on them on a surface level. Rather than truly addressing the issue at hand, Avoiders often want to “agree to disagree.” Conversations with them often end in standoffs and no resolution can be reached. Avoiders treasure alone time and autonomy, and they will often go to any lengths to avoid conflict, as they prefer calm and pleasant environments. Relationships with Avoiders are not doomed to fail, as Avoiders have a high level of respect for their loved ones. However, there is a low level of companionship with Avoiders as they never share their true feelings. Moreover, if the Avoider's relationship was ever to encounter a serious issue that simply could not be avoided, she would not know how to manage the conflict effectively and the marriage would certainly suffer or even end.

The Catastrophizer
The Catastrophizer tends to attribute all of her feelings and behaviors to her spouse, and she often refuses to take blame for anything. When the Catastrophizer is upset, she attacks her spouse with phrases that begin with “You always __” or “You never __,” and she generally uses negative facial expressions and a whining or mocking tone of voice. Catastrophizers take a negative situation (such as their spouse being late for dinner) and escalate the situation with catastrophic thinking. For example, the Catastrophizer first thinks, “He’s late every night for dinner and I’m sick of waiting for him.” Then she thinks, “In fact, he doesn’t care about how much work I put into making healthy meals or grocery shopping.” Finally, she thinks, “In fact, he really doesn’t see me at all or care about my feelings … Now that I think about it … he’s never cared about me. He’s selfish and self-absorbed. I don’t know why I’m even in this relationship!” As these thoughts continue, they see their partner through this lens and unpleasant and angry feelings escalate.

If you or your partner exhibits any of the above behaviors, take heed because your marriage is going to be unfulfilling unless you work on these unhealthy habits. The healthiest relationships are those in which both partners feel free to be themselves and honest, authentic and respectful communication is valued above all else.

Dr. Laura Berman is the director of the Berman Center in Chicago, a specialized health care facility dedicated to helping women and couples find fulfilling sex lives and enriched relationships. She is also an assistant clinical professor of OB-GYN and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. She has been working as a sex educator, researcher and therapist for 18 years.

Customized Girl

Asking Someone About Their Sexuality
GoAskAlice

Dear Alice,

I'm a woman. For some reason I keep ending up dating men who are just discovering that they are gay. Is there any way I can ask a question about someone's sexuality without being insulting?

Dear Reader,

The short answer to your question is yes, and no. While your intent when inquiring about another person's sexual orientation may be well-meaning and self-protective, the object of your affection may get bent out of shape no matter how you go about gathering information. And, asking doesn't always yield an honest answer. Coming out to one's self and others is a complicated, difficult, and sometimes frightening process for many people who identify as gay, lesbian, bi, queer, or something other than "straight." A person who has yet to come out to her or his self can hardly be expected to come out to you over a dinner date! That said, your desire to pursue a partner who is interested in pursuing you is completely reasonable, even though you may need to tread sensitively during conversations with dates about their sexuality.

One possible way to avoid needing to broach the sexuality subject on a date is to sharpen your intuition. Spending time with gay people, reading a gay novel, or seeing a gay-themed movie won't give you magical "gay-dar" powers, but, at a minimum, these activities might give you some information that could heighten your awareness and make future dates less awkward. Another less-than-direct tactic would be to tell your current beau about your past experiences with nascent gay men, and express your hope that you are just as good at attracting straight men. This may be the hint your date needs, either to reassure you of his mutual attraction, or to alert you that he's not interested in being your main squeeze. Of course, there is also the direct route. Something like, "I think you're cool and I'd like to date and get to know you better, but I'm loath to make assumptions about people. Do you date women?"

If and when you decide to scout out the sexual ID of your next date, let "unassuming" and "non-hostile" be the guides for the words you choose. Remember, no one is obligated to share their sexual orientation or other personal information with you. Helping someone to feel comfortable in your presence may go a long way toward open exchanges of feelings, thoughts, and attractions. For more information about sexuality and sexual orientation, check out Should I explore my sexuality? and Fantasizing in the wrong direction? in the Go Ask Alice! archives.

Turn the tables for a moment and consider that there may be a straight guy out there experiencing your very predicament, who is also wondering how to determine whether the women he dates like him, or like, like him. If you were on a date with this guy, how would you prefer to be asked about your sexual orientation? Directly? Indirectly? Not at all? There is no right answer, but treating others as you would like to be treated is a good guide.

A final thought here: you sound like a caring and compassionate person, so perhaps you attract some men who are questioning their sexuality and in need of a good friend. Could your kind nature be helping them out of the closet? "Yes" would not be such a bad answer, and it just might better your chance of someday meeting an even better Mr. Right.

I Go Down on Her; Why Won't She Do the Same for Me?

Dear Alice,
I am nineteen-years-old. I have been in a romantic relationship with a girl, now 18, for over a year now. I love her very much, and I know she loves me. In fact, I would be perfectly happy with our relationship were it not for our lopsided sexual activity. I have gone down on her many, many times since we first began dating. She, on the other hand, has never touched or even seen my penis. We have talked about this several times, and she says she is insecure about penises in general. The best reason she can give for this, however, is that she thinks they're "gross." She usually defends the fact that I go down on her by saying that she never asked for me to do so, and that I do it of my own free will. I don't want to leave her... in fact; I consider it out of the question. But I don't want to simply accept our relationship the way it is. The whole time I've been dating her, I haven't had an orgasm that I didn't give myself. I need some advice on how to handle this.

Dear Reader,
It sounds as though right now penises are outside of your partner's comfort zone. At the same time, it's understandable that you are frustrated that she thinks a part of your anatomy, or part of you, is "gross." She seems consistently hesitant to see and touch you where you'd like to be seen and touched. It's not clear what her reasons for this might be — perhaps she feels inexperienced and/or unready to act that way with you, or maybe she was sexually abused. Either way, her reason(s) may not matter as much as her choice to exclude your penis from your sex life.

It takes a lot of courage to talk with partners about our private desires, so bravo for raising your questions and concerns with her. Now that you have talked with her, though, it seems you're out there hanging. Think of it like this: individuals have needs. Only you can decide for yourself what it is you need to feel satisfied. Is your partner giving you oral pleasure a "need" (this is a way for you to know that she's physically attracted to you, cares for you, and accepts you, validating you and your relationship), or a "want" (you wish she would, but if she chooses not to, you can cope, as you have already)?

Consider a few things:

It is common for couples to mismatch in one or several areas of their sex life. Sexual compatibility is just one aspect of a romantic relationship, and one that can change over time. Something to contemplate is where, outside of your sex life, are you two compatible? How much fun do you have together? To what degree do you each bring out the best in each other?

Your partner's decision not to see or touch your penis is not an indicator or barometer of her love for you. Are you comfortable with that?

Take a second to think about your reasons for giving her oral pleasure. Assumedly, you go down on her because you want to and because you want to experience intimacy in that way with her. If you go down on her just so she'll do the same for you in return, consider that a sexual action is not a bargaining chip.

You say you are tired of having orgasms by yourself. Perhaps the two of you can find other ways for your partner to play a role in your orgasms. What about exploring other body parts that she feels more comfortable touching, seeing, and kissing, such as the back of your neck, your ears, your nipples, or your inner thighs? The point is to figure out how to have and give pleasure in mutually agreeable ways. Clearly, the more you pressure her, or the more she feels pressure, whether or not you are aware of it, the less likely she will be to even think about taking any sexual risks. Who knows what may happen if you were to back off and accept her as she is (the way you want her to accept you)?

One way or another, it sounds as if you've started a valuable dialogue with your partner. Continue to do so while you two learn and explore options for ways to enhance your sexual selves together.

Alice

Average Number of Sex Partners

Dear Alice,
What is the average number of sexual partners per year for undergrads?

—Curious

Dear Curious,
The numbers in some recent research on this topic may surprise you. Several studies asked college students about their sexual behaviors in the past year. A study published in the Journal of College Health in 2005 surveyed undergrads from four college campuses during the spring and summer of 1999. The study found that over 80 percent of respondents had one or fewer sexual partners during the previous year. The 2004 University of Arizona Health and Wellness Survey of their student body found that 73 percent had one or fewer sexual partners. A 2001 study of students at Princeton University found that 79.3 percent of respondents had one or fewer sexual partners.

A 1998 study of a "Midwestern commuter college" found 68 percent of sexually active respondents reported having one sexual partner during the previous year. Eighteen percent of respondents reported having had two partners. Interestingly, this study excluded from the analysis those who were abstinent during the preceding year.

While these studies do not provide an "average" number, it's clear that an overwhelming majority of students have had one or zero sexual partners over the past year. One must, however, be cautious with definitions — how, exactly, do the studies define sexual partners or sex in general? Does oral sex count? What about hooking-up? What exactly is hooking-up? Are the respondents assumed to be heterosexual? Or, do the studies differentiate between same and opposite sex encounters?

Another interesting finding is that students in the Princeton study and in the study of four undergrad campuses believed their fellow students had many more partners during the past year than the studies revealed. This shows that our perceptions (or fantasies) of what's happening between the sheets on campus are much more risqué than the actual details.

Alice

Confessions of a Sex-Shop Salesgirl
By Arianne Cohen - Marie Claire

Who knew that selling sex toys would provide such a window to the soul?

My favorite customer, Marlene, first appeared at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. A youthful, 50-something firecracker in mom jeans, she marched in and scanned the shelves. "I have three sons and a husband. I need a vibrator that is completely silent. Do you hear me? Com-plete-ly si-lent." She looked at me expectantly.

We buzzed around the store, switching 20 vibrators on and off until we found an ugly but quiet plug-in model. She raised her eyebrows. I assured her that aesthetics are not essential to payoff. I revved the motor from behind the storage-closet door. She didn't hear a peep. When I emerged, she hugged me. "Your mother must be so proud of you," she enthused.

Actually, my mother, whose house my paychecks were mailed to, still believes that Grand Opening is a bookstore, not a female-friendly sex-toy shop. I wasn't ashamed; I simply couldn't justify adding the word "dildo" to our pile of mother-daughter detritus.

My stint began when my friend Laure double-dog-dared me to take the job with her. We quickly learned that sex-shop work is the least sexy gig out there. My half-decade as a lifeguard was flirtier, full of sex jokes and wedgies. This was like working in a preschool, providing construction paper and paste.

Here's the way it went down: I'd linger behind the counter while customers shyly wandered in. First they'd pretend to look at books, then lubes, before finally landing near their objets du désir. Inevitably, they'd glance my way, and I'd approach in whatever persona (funny, subdued, earnest) fit the customer. They'd promptly whisper their most personal problems in my ear, then look up at me for a solution. My sole training for this interaction was an incoherent 10-minute speech by the intoxicated owner of the store. I learned the rest under fire. Sex, I quickly gathered — or a lack thereof — is at the center of everyone's identity, and once you've cracked someone's desires, you understand them in full.

Mothers and grandmothers tended to breeze in, announcing exactly what they wanted: Quicker sex. Longer sex. An easy orgasm. It was the younger ones who tended to be uncertain, proof that the confident women of the world haven't quite figured out how to pass that confidence on to their children.

I grew skilled in helping the usual suspects: the woman with a newborn strapped to her chest seeking to avoid giving her husband blow jobs, the dowdy middle-ager who nonchalantly purchased lube by the quart, the graceful 60-year-old with long silver hair who bought the largest dildo I've ever seen ("I do think this will fit the bill").

My role stretched far beyond that of salesgirl. Primarily, I was a therapist. I listened earnestly as customers informed me of their fantasies involving feathers and safety pins, things they'd never told anyone before. Most began with, "Don't laugh, but . . ." My nodding approval had a soothing effect, and they'd tell me more.

Often, I was an anatomy instructor. Men regularly appeared solo, asking for specific toys. Their plans, which I'd gently tease out, were often very bad ideas involving exotic, porn-inspired positions. I would grab a diagram highlighting the clitoris, remind them of the natural range of motion of most women's hip flexors, nudge them toward a more arousing plan for her, and throw in a discounted book on erotic massage.

Ultimately, I became an ad hoc protector of women. Like the time a bearded book editor appeared. After gabbing about the erotic-lit industry, he explained a particularly ludicrous double-penetration scenario he imagined for his wife. He seemed to treat sex as an event strictly for his pleasure, which I found particularly egregious. I was sleep-deprived and blurted out, "Sir, what do your wife's feet look like?" He paused. Then stuttered. He had no idea. I suggested that for the next month, he spend a weekly hour in bed with his wife without using his penis. Two months later, a thank-you note appeared to "the tall saleswoman who taught my husband how to make love."

‘Understand, we were not just selling motorized sticks. We were also teaching women how to never be submissive. A woman with a well-stocked toy drawer isn't dependent on anyone and is unlikely to hurl herself at a lowlife just for nooky. Though I began my job on a lark, it became clear that being a sex-shop salesgirl is, in some way, a curiously feminist calling.

A famous Harvard professor appeared one day, with fedora, seeking videos from our female-friendly collection. (No matter how primly people present themselves, they all spend their days thinking dirty, dirty thoughts. Some bury those thoughts deeper than others.)

I asked what sort of video. "Dear," he said in a clipped British accent, "a plotline won't be necessary." He inquired about what item a man might like to use with his wife of 30 years — then began mapping out a plan that would make Jenna Jameson blush, beginning with a dinner during which his wife would wear an oversize dildo in her rear. I coughed and interrupted, suggesting that perhaps a vibrator might be the sort of gift a wife would love to receive, to be used as she chose. I wrapped it and slid a store card under the ribbon with a note to the wife: Please visit! Then I grinned to myself, knowing it was a gift that would keep on giving.

Orgasm Secrets You Haven't Heard
By Lauren Gard - Marie Claire

We searched high and low to find five-alarm tricks to stimulate all of your senses. Read on to fire up your sex life.

1. Get Competitive
Sign up for a 5K race or schedule a game of tennis. Merely anticipating a competition triggers a 24 percent boost in testosterone for women, according to a study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior. And any increase in that hormone also drives up your libido.

2. Turn Up the Heat
Prior to sex, take a hot bath, or, if you're short on time, place a warm washcloth over your vulva for a few minutes. Heat boosts blood flow to your vagina, leading to increased lubrication and sensitivity, says Hilda Hutcherson, author of Pleasure.

3. Tell Steamy Bedtime Stories
Write an erotic story featuring you and your partner, then ask him to read it aloud as he tucks you in. Lack naughty-writing know-how? Commission a sexy tale from the pros at customeroticasource.com. A 500-word turn-on starts at $30; a 5,000-word story runs $425. For a racier read, you can send in a few pics and request customized illustrations.

4. Sip a Sex Tonic
Let an ancient sex stimulant work its magic: Warm some milk, add a pinch of saffron, and drink up, says Aliza Baron Cohen, author of Sex: Rediscovering Desire Through Techniques & Therapies. Saffron, which releases its intense flavor when heated, has been considered an aphrodisiac for thousands of years.

5. Strike at the Optimal Moment
During the first two days of your cycle, your testosterone levels surge, your libido soars, and your breasts and clitoris become ultra-sensitive, says Gabrielle Lichterman, author of 28 Days, a daily guide to your menstrual cycle. Intense orgasms may happen more easily than usual — and multiples are much more likely.

6. Recharge Your Batteries
Women who use vibrators say they have an easier time reaching orgasm during (vibrator-free) sex with a partner, according to a survey of 1,656 women conducted by the Berman Center. If you're tech-friendly, try the iBuzz, a vibrating "bullet" attachment that plugs into your MP3 player and stimulates you in time to your favorite tantalizing tunes. (Available at ibuzzusa.com; $60.)

7. Step Up for a Quickie
For stellar sex in a hurry, pull on a skirt and find a deserted staircase, suggests Sex for Busy People author Emily Dubberley. If you're shorter than your guy, stand a step or two above him. Face him or turn toward the railing so he can enter you from behind. (Hint: Grip the rail for leverage — and don't lean over too far!)

8. Try a New Rhythm Method
Raise your odds of climaxing during sex from 23 to 77 percent with the Coital Alignment Technique, says Dubberley. Have your partner lie on top of you, with his pelvis directly over yours. Wrap your legs around his thighs and rock together gently. Push up and forward so that your clitoris makes contact with the base of his penis. Patience is key: Find your rhythm and stick to it until you orgasm.

Good Sexual Intercourse Lasts Minutes, Not Hours, Therapists Say
ScienceDaily

Satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from 3 to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of sexual activity, according to a survey of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists.

Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades.

Thirty-four, or 68 percent, of the group responded and rated a range of time amounts for sexual intercourse, from penetration of the vagina by the penis until ejaculation, that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long.

The average therapists' responses defined the ranges of intercourse activity times: "adequate," from 3-7 minutes; "desirable," from 7-13 minutes; "too short" from 1-2 minutes; and "too long" from 10-30 minutes.

"A man's or woman's interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as the partner's relies on personal beliefs developed in part from society's messages, formal and informal," the researchers said. ""Unfortunately, today's popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. "

Past research has found that a large percentage of men and women, who responded, wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer.

"This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction," said lead author Eric Corty, associate professor of psychology. "With this survey, we hope to dispel such fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data about acceptable sexual intercourse, thus preventing sexual disappointments and dysfunctions."

Corty and Guardiani, then-undergraduate student and now a University graduate, are publishing their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, but the article is currently available online.

The survey's research also has implications for treatment of people with existing sexual problems.

"If a patient is concerned about how long intercourse should last, these data can help shift the patient away from a concern about physical disorders and to be initially treated with counseling, instead of medicine," Corty noted.

Sexual Intercourse - How to Make Love the Whole Night!
Buzzle.com

Love making is the most magnificent celestial experience. While making love, we forget about our past and feel absolutely no worries of our future; everything freezes to time and we live in the very moment. But unfortunately for some people; love making do not last longer and they are not able to enjoy every bit of it... Go on reading if you are willing to get to know how you can love for whole night without falling!!!

Warning. Discretionary Content. This article may contain material that is either inappropriate or offensive to some audiences.

Love making is the most magnificent celestial experience. While making love, we forget about our past and feel absolutely no worries of our future; everything freezes to time and we live in the very moment. But unfortunately for some people; love making do not last longer and they are not able to enjoy every bit of it.

Normally people can stretch love making to an hour long activity, but making love for whole night is always possible. All you need is some simple techniques which are to be followed by both the partners. If you follow step by step procedure and understand what is needed to be done at particular time, you can make your nights enjoyable and memorable too.

Before we start discussing the points, it is very important to understand that 100% participation and complete devotion of the partners, better mutual understanding, desire for passionate love making and readiness to take initiative in the game of love are the prerequisites. There are situations when one partner has to lead and let the other partner keep his/her desires burning, failing to understand this will cost in early ending of your passion packed activity. Also please take care not to eat more at dinner, because it affects your active participation in love making.

Foreplay, knowing the peak point of one’s partner, leading alternatively, use of different sex positions and some more are the key points to be learned about before even thinking about having night long sex.

As I have explained the importance of foreplay (and also provided with some important tips) in my article "Foreplay – Sexual Intercourse Navigator!", it is important to start the sexual activity with a prolonged and sensual foreplay. The only difference in foreplay carried out during normal sexual intercourse and the foreplay intended for a night long sex activity is that this foreplay has to be carried out for longer period and should be divided in some parts. These parts should be performed from time to time. Foreplay is an art of expressing love and is a perfect invitation for a sex activity. Foreplay is important in order to arouse female partner for the game of love.

Knowing your partner’s peak time can help him/her slow down when he/she reaches to the extreme level, people who face problem of early ejaculation can be helped by their partners during intercourse in many ways. In order not to shoot before time, one should follow "Slowing Down" and/or "Packet" techniques. Slowing down when it’s a high sensitive moment pushes the shooting point further, allowing both the partners enjoy intercourse for some more time. Packet technique is used when its hard to slow down, at this point the stroking activity is stopped by the weak partner for some time and extended/advanced foreplay is used to give another partner continuous experience of intercourse whereas the partner having problem of early ejaculation gets some more time to calm down his/her desires at certain level and then again both the partners can resume the activity. Extended/advanced foreplay contains stimulating partners and allowing him/her to continue experiencing intercourse by fingering or blowjob performed by the weak partner. Another technique that can help in increasing shooting time is by pressing weak partner’s semen carrying vein (which is situated just below the scrotum) with the help of a finger by other partner, this surely allows late ejaculation for the weak partner. One advantage of this technique is that if you follow this technique for many days, it improves performance of male partner having early ejaculation problem and he can enjoy longer and stronger strokes after little practice and he can also gain control on his senses which causes in early ejaculation.

Use of different sex positions has its own importance in sexual intercourse activity. There are different sex positions which allow both the partners choose the way they want to enjoy their time. Some positions allow both the partners keep showering love on the other partner for longer time without shooting up early. Both the partners can use different sex positions during one intercourse. Its never possible to enjoy all night sex without both the partners taking lead alternatively, if one partner is leading he/she should help the other partner to keep the desires in control without reaching the end point early; at the same time the leading partner should make it sure that whatever activity is followed it should appease the burning desires of both the partners and should drive them slowly towards the celestial experience allowing them enjoy each moment during the intercourse. There can be more than one complete intercourse during the night long sex activity, but both the partners should never let the passion fade, which can cause decline in interest of the other partner. The combination of foreplay, advanced foreplay, different sex positions make it possible to enjoy all night sex, so both the partners should have proper understanding of these points.

Choosing an Online Dating Service
by Noreen Ruth

If you're new to online dating, just the vast number of sites available for you to choose from can be daunting. To make the process easier the first and probably most important decision to make is to define exactly what you're looking to get out of a dating service. Are you looking for a lifelong relationship, a friend to share common interests, a sexual encounter or a chat buddy?

The top dating services. such as Yahoo! Personals, eHarmony and Match.com focus on one type of relationship. On these sites you know upfront what the other members are looking for when you make contact. If you are not exactly sure about your specific intentions, check out the sites that offer more than one type of relationship within the same site. Be sure you look for one that has the different communities separated so that you don't have to guess what the intentions of the poster may be.

Know Who You Want to Meet
Dating services will bring positive results only when you're able to see a mental picture of the person you would want to meet and find words to describe him or her in details that convey the traits that are most important to you. Consider not only the physical attributes of the person but their personality, lifestyle, hobbies, religious and political preferences. If there is one trait that is a 'must-have', consider searching for a dating service that specializes in bringing together people who share that common interest. The specialty dating services you can visit are as diverse as your imagination -- biker babes, vegans, pet-lovers, pagan, etc.

Site Features Make the Process Easier
Who has time to click through thousands of profiles to find the 'perfect' match? The tools that are offered on a site can make your search faster, more relevant and ultimately more fun. Matchmaking features offer you a way to 'fine-tune' your search so that you're not wading through profiles that are far from the results you're looking for. Some sites run your search on a regular basis automatically and send new prospects that meet your profile to your email. On a general dating site, you may receive several profiles each day. If, however, you opt to use a more 'serious' service (designed for people looking for a marriage partner), you may receive one or two matches a month.

Take Personality Tests As a way to help their clients learn about themselves and their potential partners, personality tests are offered. The more established sites often offer more insightful and detailed tests. The results of these tests, which are free with your membership, help to define compatible members. One thing to consider is whether the results are a good reflection of you, if so it stands to reason that the potential matches on the site will be reflecting their true nature, as well.

Check Out the Communications
Communication is the key to a great relationship. When choosing a dating service, consider what communication opportunities are included. If you're just trying out a service, you will probably be given limited ability to communicate (often limited to flirty icons and preset messages) with prospective dates to determine whether you want to continue at the next level which would require a subscription to the service. Once you subscribe, communication between members is usually with an on-site email or instant messaging. Typically, the more you pay for a service the more options will be available to you.

Entertainment Options If you're not looking for a serious relationship, there's still a place for you on many dating service websites. More and more sites are now offering chat rooms and forums to make friends. Entertainment features may also include quizzes, polls, contests, articles and newsletters.

Using the Service When Out of the Country
Established online dating services have extended their services into other countries around the world. You can connect in 27 different countries on Match.com; Yahoo! Personals has a new Canadian service. If you find yourself in another country, this service is a good way to chat in your native language.

Cost and Payment Options First look for free trials and try out all the features before committing to a service. The cost of using an online dating service is typically between $20 and $25 a month. With the cost pretty standard across the board, the value of your subscription is in the services offered that you will actually use. If you sign up for a service and don't take advantage of the benefits they offer, you're wasting your money. Look for discounts for signing up for several months or for joining with a friend. Some services accept money orders or checks, but most prefer credit or debit card payments.

More Resources
Be sure to explore the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section of the service you're considering. Visit the site and explore the options available. Don't stick around too long, if you aren't enjoying the experience. Check out a great dating service review site, http://www.dateshowcase.com - Compare Best Internet Dating Sites.

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