Dating Tips, Relationship Advice and Sexuality!: Relationship Advice - Dating Tips

Should A Guy Pay for the First Date? (What About After That?)
Joanna Goddard - Glamour

My newly single friend Christine has a pressing question: "Who pays on the first date? And second? And third?"

Maybe this is old-fashioned, but I think the guy should pay for the first date, if he asked you out. It's like his gift to you, and you can always pay for the second date. (Of course, when the bill comes, you should still do the faux "reach" for your wallet, until he says, "Oh, no, I'll get this. My treat.")

Once, I went on a date with a cute designer, and we only got beers, but he wanted to split the bill at the end. He said it made us equals. But I couldn't help wondering if he just wasn't that into me. After all, if we were going to have a second date, wouldn't he want to treat me, and then I could pay the next time? (It turns out that we didn't have one, for, a hem, other reasons.)

Another time, I went out for dinner with a handsome carpenter. (He told me all about a beautiful chair he had made; I felt like he was Aidan in Sex & the City.) At the end, I tried to pay, but he said, "I'll get the bill, if you agree to go out with me again." It was really sweet.

Hmm, what do you guys think? What has your experience been like? Who usually pays? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Have You Ever Asked a Guy Out? What Did He Say?
Joanna Goddard - Glamour

Yesterday, we talked about four weird ways to meet guys. But what if you already know the guy you want to be with, but he just hasn't asked you out? Would you ask him out?

A year and a half ago, I met a cute guy at a party. We chatted for a little while (about what color he painted his apartment, of all things!) and two days later, I emailed him and asked him out. What happened?

He said yes. We went to dinner. We fell in love. A year and a half later, we're living together and totally (probably annoyingly) schmoopy.

So I'm so glad that I asked him out! (He was a wuss and would never have done it.:) I was nervous to email him, but I took a deep breath and just did it. Plus, sending an email is much less scary that calling him on the phone. If he said no, I could have just deleted his email and pretend it never happened. (What guy? What party?)

My dears, have you ever asked a guy out? Maybe you are contemplating it right now?! What happened? Or if you haven't, why haven't you? Tell me your thoughts!

Manners: Can You Train Your Man?
Joanna Goddard - Glamour

On Friday, Erin wrote about how her dad has impeccable manners--and now she looks for chivalry in the guys she dates. But what if you fall for a guy who has bad manners? My friend Mary is in that pickle right now....

My friend Mary says her boyfriend chews disgustingly. "He chomps food with his mouth open," she says. "It's getting to the point where I dread having dinner together!" Can she say something? (She's planning to be gentle but straightforward.) Does your boyfriend do anything you wish he wouldn't? Have you ever trained your man to have better manners, or do you just look the other way?

This Girl Lost Her Virginity--And Accidentally Texted Her Dad!
Joanna Goddard - Glamour

Oh my goodness, you will die when you hear this story.....

Elizabeth Frisinger, 18, from Cleveland, went on a class trip where she lost her virginity on the beach. Thrilled, she texted her friend, saying "OMG! Just had 1st time on beach! Gr8! Wish you were here!"

Except instead of texting her friend, she accidentally had texted her dad.

What was his response? "I'm assuming this was intended for someone else Lizzy. Class trip is over. Tomorrow 7:10am Delta. Use my credit card for taxi."

Ouch! So embarrassing! Have you ever had an awkward dating situation with your parents? Where you told them too much about your dating life? Or have they ever walked in on your making out with someone?

P.S. Do you talk to your parents about your dating life? Do you chat with your dad on the phone?

Customized Girl

Sexual Positions Women Enjoy
By Isabella Snow - AskMen.com

Women love sex. In fact, some women think about it just as often, if not more, then their male counterparts. They fantasize constantly and at great length (with you being the object of their desire, of course). These hot little fantasies can cover a broad spectrum of kink, but almost always involve one of the five most common sex positions women enjoy. This is due to a number of reasons, the most significant being that they create a perfect balance between level of difficulty and maximum pleasure. In other words, these sex positions women enjoy result in loads of pleasure for the minimal level of effort required to pull them off. That’s not to say that women don’t love your faves as well; they’re definitely into sexual acrobatics every now and then -- but when we’re getting down and dirty, certain sex positions tend to get women more wet than others.

Private lap dance
Most women love being on top for one simple reason: It makes them feel like they're in charge, and power is always a heady aphrodisiac. Being on top is not limited to one style, however. If you’re old-school, lie on your back and have her straddle your waist before lowering herself onto you; don’t forget to lend her some support by holding her hips while she rides you. If your woman doesn’t enjoy this style, it’s likely for one of two reasons: She may feel overexposed during the act, or her legs might be a bit too short to pull it off comfortably. The easy fix for this dilemma? Move to the sofa. Sit yourself down, lean back and pull her astride you. This is definitely one of the sex positions women enjoy because it allows her to brace herself against the back of the couch, giving her excellent leverage to ride you to orgasm. She can even brace herself with one hand, leaving the other free to play with her clit.

Sex position savvy: It may be tempting to just sit back and enjoy the scenery, but if you’d like to really rock her world, tease her breasts and nipples with your tongue and trace the curve of her waist with your fingers; these moves will magnify her pleasure.

The comfort zone
More commonly known as the missionary position, the comfort zone is not to be overlooked. Nor should any man ignore its tremendous potential for scorching hot sex. Yes, it can also make for predictable, boring sex a Puritan would admire, but only if you’re lacking passion and creativity. The comfort zone is one of the top sex positions women enjoy, and for good reason: the permutations for pleasure are virtually endless, and none of them involve discomfort or the skills of a gymnast. Take charge: Lay her down on the bed, spread her legs apart by sliding your knee between her thighs, place her wrists above her head and show her what you’re made of. Women love displays of dominance in the bedroom, and this one can be either subtle or overt, making it suitable for nearly every woman out there.

Sex position savvy: Take it to the next level by talking dirty to her. Bring your lips close to her ear and whisper what you’re going to do to her; let her know she’ll be screaming your name before it’s over.

Stand at erection
This sexual position women enjoy is pretty self-evident in the title: Your woman is going to sit on a surface that stands level with your waist, and then you’re going to penetrate her as deeply as you possibly can. The further her legs are spread apart the better, and you can maximize this by drawing her legs around your waist. This will place her vagina directly against your groin, and will make deep thrusting incredibly easy for you, thereby increasing her odds of having a G-spot orgasm. Where can you put this sexual position women enjoy to good use? Try the kitchen counter, the bathroom counter, the washing machine, the piano, the hood of your car -- get as naughty as you like.

Sex position savvy: Some men come relatively quickly in this position, thanks to it’s deep-thrusting potential. Don’t be afraid to slow down and take a break to get yourself back under control. Use that time to stimulate her clitoris and bring her closer to the edge. When you start thrusting again, she’ll be just as ready as you are.

Spooning it
The spoon position makes for fabulous sex, and it’s really no wonder that it's on this list of sexual positions women enjoy. A woman loves the feel of a man’s chest against her back, she loves the feel of your arms wrapped around her and she loves the feel of being penetrated from behind. She especially enjoys it in the spoon position, because it’s incredibly comfortable and still allows you to play with her breasts and clitoris, which, frankly, most women can never get enough of.

Slide behind your woman, pull her bottom backward against your groin, and slip her top leg over your hip, drawing it slightly backward as you do so. Having her thighs spread apart like this will make her feel deliciously naughty and she’ll probably arch her body to give you even further access. This is a very comfortable sexual position women enjoy, and you can expect a great deal of moaning to ensue.

Sex position savvy: Take advantage of this position by reaching around and stimulating her clitoris, and don’t forget to talk dirty to her as you do; this is one of the best positions for pillow talk.

Stoop doggy dog
You may be surprised to see doggy style making the list, but it really is one of the sexual positions women enjoy. That said, the doggy style you see in the average porn flick isn’t really what we’re talking about here -- we’re after something a bit more intimate and far more pleasurable. Yes, women do like being bent forward on all fours and taken from behind, but they like it even more when you bend forward as well, sliding your fingers between her thighs and toying with her clit. And women simply love it when you switch things up by pulling them into a kneeling position while you continue to thrust deeply. Women definitely enjoy doggy style, as long as they aren’t made to feel like objects.

Sex position savvy: While bending forward, gently nip your woman’s shoulders with your teeth; this area is very sensitive and most women enjoy being bitten there, as it greatly intensifies the sexual pleasure.

Tired of Being the Single Friend
The Bitter Single Guy

Dear Bitter Single Guy: I’m 21 and have never dated or had any sort of relationship and I’m not the one-night-stand sort of a girl either. I’m smart, I’m fairly attractive, and I like to have a good time as much as anyone else does.

I’ve tried all the lines, the overdone flirting etc, but its not me. I’m the bitter single among my friends. I have a sarcastic/bitter sense of humor. I get along better with my graduate school peers than my junior and senior ones. I’m always the friend or the person that people come to advice for. I’m never attracted to (or can’t stand) the guys that are attracted to me. If people are attracted to me, I’m completely oblivious. I feel like I’ve tried all the advice out there. I’m independent, but I’m sick of always being the single friend. Either I’m in the wrong school in the wrong state, or I’m giving off an overly bitter or serious vibe. ~Perpetually Single Girl~

Dear PSG: The Bitter Single Guy doesn’t believe that the only reasons you’re single are that you’re too bitter, too serious, or geographically hobbled. The best advice the BSG has for getting a date is getting some hobbies. Whether it’s while running the marathon for which your running club has trained during the past few months, or at the art show your pottery class organized for your work, you will find yourself meeting other like-minded people which, in dating parlance, is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Don’t go to bars expecting to meet dates, it’s soul-crushing and rarely successful (one nighters are more likely).

Additionally PSG, your friends are likely to be good help for you to understand if you’ve got a ‘tude working that is repelling the opposite sex. The BSG will also mention here that the opposite sex isn’t always for everyone, so if the ‘other side of the tracks’ hasn’t occurred to you, the BSG recommends thinking about it.

In addition to expanding your hobbies (social hobbies only, PSG. Crocheting at home while you watch Friends reruns won’t get you anywhere), and thinking about all your dating options, the BSG generally recommends liking yourself and your life. This seems simple, but for some is a lifetime journey. Hopefully not for you.

Finally PS, it seems that you’re in graduate school? Heck, give yourself some slack! Graduate school is about as transitory as you can get in life. It may be that your love life won’t blossom until you do.

The Role of a Mistress: Is it as Glamorous as it Seems?
Love-Sessions

Mistress: A mysterious sexy woman that a married man sees in secret to have a romantic and sexual relationship with. This is the definition of a mistress. There is good sex, hotel room adventures, late nights, seductive phone calls, exciting secret dates, gifts and the thrill of doing something bad. But�is being a mistress as glamorous as it seems?

Yes, BUT only at first. Being a mistress has its exciting moments and these are the moments that convince women to become a mistress in the first place. In the beginning, the mistress holds all the power. She is the one who has the married man under a love spell and she gets all his attention and time that he should be spending with his wife. She is the one he fantasizes about when he is with his wife and the one he misses. He urges for her company and longs to hear her voice. The mistress is the woman a married man makes first priority and will shower her with gifts to keep her happy. This all sounds fun and good, but it is very short lived and eventually, the light goes on and shines on the truth of what the life of a mistress really is and eventually becomes after the sexy stage is over.

Relationships that start off in deception usually end in deception. When a woman gets involved with a married man, she turns a blind eye to the fact that he is a cheater and an unreliable partner. She sees only what she wants to see and believes only what she wants to believe. She acknowledges the fact that he is cheating on his wife with her, but refuses to see that she too is a victim of his selfish behavior- choosing to make herself his victim. Men rarely leave their wives and family for their mistresses, which means that they string their mistresses along, having them believe that one day they will both be together with no more hiding around. Mistresses hang on to this fantasy, believing that their married lover truly loves them and will eventually be with them and this begins a long journey of emotional pain, emptiness and endless waiting.

There are of course cases when a married man will actually leave his wife to be with his mistress, this has been known to happen, but it is rare. Plus, if it does happen, the relationship usually does not last, even if man and mistress go as far as getting married. This is because when the relationship started, it was not planted on solid, honest ground. Instead, the seed of the relationship was planted on unstable ground, fertilized with secrets and lies- regardless of whom the secrets were being kept from and whom the lies were being told to. Secrets and lies disallow people from being their true selves- a part of you has to be put on hold due to the man-mistress circumstance. If the man and his mistress do end up together and get married, they eventually have troubles with trust, because of the way they got together. They both know that they are capable of cheating and going along with cheating and while they may actually love each other- all the facts defining their relationship has the greater influence, whether they want to acknowledge it or not.

Most man-mistress relationships do not get that far though and majority of the times, he will not leave his marriage for his mistress. He may believe at one point that he will, but his feeling of responsibility and need to be loyal to his wife and family take over and he therefore does not leave. Most men have affairs because of communication problems in their marriage or an empty gap that has grown in their marriage and they are unsure on how to approach. They long for good happy company again without complications, and an affair is a good escape for them- but it does not last forever.

WOMAN GETS BELT FOR SMOKING
By The Editor - The Spanking News©

Smoking is not only bad for your health, it can be bad for your butt as well. Judy , a 26 years old data entry clerk from a small town called Edgewater, knows this all too well. Being caught smoking doesn't simply mean a good lecture or finger shaking in her direction. It means a good old fashioned, bare bottom over the knee spanking. And sometimes with a belt!

Judy, commonly known to her fans as "Sky" is featured on the popular amateur spanking site called www.MySpankings.com. The site shows the cute and often times very naughty 26 year old being spanked for transgressions such as swearing, smoking, or just having a smart mouth. "I have to admit, I deserve every spanking I get. Sure its embarrassing and hurts like heck, but I learn from it", Sky says. When asked if she had bad feelings towards the person spanking her she simply replied, "Of course not I know they are doing it for my own good, why would I hate them for that?

Growing up in a strict family where good old fashioned spankings were the norm, Sky is no stranger to a firm hand applied to her backside, or even the belt. "It was always on the bare bottom." She added "If we did something bad enough to get spanked, pants and panties came down and over the knee you would go...no arguments, no fuss. If you gave any lip about getting a spanking you were pretty well guaranteed the belt!"

Sky's sister Cassandra would also find her pert bottom occasionally aflame, but according to Sky she was not spanked nearly as often.
"For every spanking she got, I probably got three!" laughed the website star, "I was always the curious one, the one who pushed the boundaries to see how far I could go."
And it's that curiosity and naughty behavior that attracts visitors from around the world to her page, and probably will for sometime to come. Sneaking a peak at pictures and video clips of her punishments, all of which are painfully real with nothing faked.

"When we first started the site and it only had pictures, I'm sure a lot of people thought they were fake and I was not really spanked. But after we added the video clips, especially the ones where I get the belt, I think that put all that doubt to rest." Laughing, "I had people writing to me and offering me comfort. And many had questions like how many days did it take until I was able to sit down. Most of the letters are very sweet."

You can visit Sky and see all her spankings at: http://www.myspankings.com

My New Boyfriend Likes to Dress in Lingerie
By Dr. Gail Saltz - MSNBC

Your frilly-panties pal could be a fun guy, says Dr. Gail Saltz — or you may need to show him (and his undies) the door

Q: My new boyfriend told me he sometimes likes to dress up in women’s lingerie, and he wants to share this with me as part of our sex life. I’m not sure I can deal with this. It doesn’t seem manly, and I am not attracted to women. What if I don’t like it? What if I am unattracted to him afterward? I’m scared. What should I do?

A: First of all, you should know that there is a difference between a man who occasionally enjoys dressing in lingerie because he finds it fun and erotic, and a man who does so because he feels he should have been born female or because he fetishizes these objects.

Your task, as you decide whether or not to stay in this relationship, is to determine which kind of man he is and whether or not either is acceptable to you.

In the bedroom, many people try on other identities. This is a perfectly normal part of lovemaking. Men may fantasize about indulging their feminine side while women fantasize about being the aggressor. This can go along with wearing costumes or some sort of clothing usually associated with the opposite sex. It’s all part of the fun and excitement.

If your boyfriend wears lingerie on occasion because he has an active fantasy life and is comfortable expressing it, you could be in for a fun and exciting time. He may be a wonderful lover who is comfortable with many kinds of sex.

So if you really care about this man, you might give it a whirl. There’s a good chance that, despite your apprehension, part of you wants to try some variety. If so, go ahead.

Try not to be scared of your own sexual excitement. You may be held back by your own conflict at being aroused by something out of the ordinary. Some women — and men, for that matter — feel that any sex not done in the missionary position is wrong or scary.

But there are some men for whom an interest in lingerie is more intense. It might be a manifestation of his yearning to be a woman or his conviction that he is a woman trapped in a man’s body.

If, for example, your boyfriend were to continue down this road — wanting to wear women’s clothing all of the time, to grow breasts, and to increasingly live in the world as a woman — he is probably a transsexual.

Another possibility is that he has a fetish. Some people get excited about some kind of object, like lingerie or shoes, and cannot get excited without the object. The need for this item can hinder a more varied sexual relationship.

At this point, your boyfriend may not be revealing the full extent of his sexual secrets to you. For example, he might tell you he “only occasionally” wears lingerie when he’s actually testing the waters to see if you might be accepting of more extreme behavior.

If you are really put off by his requests, or they escalate to a point where you are, you must ask yourself whether you feel deeply enough about him to continue the relationship.

Be open-minded, but don’t force yourself to experiment. Yes, there is a risk you won’t be attracted to him after you share his fantasy. Like many other factors that doom a relationship, he may just not be the guy for you.

Dr. Gail’s Bottom Line: This is one of those cases where you need to follow the beat of your own drummer. You may find your new boyfriend’s unusual sexual request to be worth trying, or it might feel extremely uncomfortable. As always, the more knowledge you possess, the more armed you will be to make an informed decision.

Dr. Gail Saltz is a psychiatrist with New York Presbyterian Hospital and a regular contributor to “Today.” Her new book, “Becoming Real: Overcoming the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back,” was recently published by Riverhead Books. For more information, you can visit her Web site, www.drgailsaltz.com.

Dating Tips From Jennifer for Women
by Jennifer - Daily Dating Advice

1. Always Brush and Floss your teeth. Bad breath is a turn off to everyone and a mint does not always mask it – plus the sugar can give you tooth decay.

2. Dress to impress, according to Robert Kurzban, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania we make decisions on potential mates “in the first three seconds.”

3. Feel good about yourself – self confidence is a turn on to most men from what I have read and been told. The big plus is it makes you feel good -- man or no man.

4. Watch your table manners, loud talking, chewing with your mouth open, slurping your soup and who is a fan of hearing another person chew on ice while stirring your drink with a straw.

5. Let him be a “man”. The lines between men and women have become so blurred most of the “good” men I have talked with still want to open the car door and help you with your jacket.

6. Gum Smacking, did you see that Britney Spears interview with Matt Lauer?,
Not good.

7. My Grandmother told me that she always kept some mystery in the
Marriage, men still like the chase- I’m not saying to play games but they
don’t need to hear every single detail of your day and life.

8. Give him space; let him have his boys nights out.

9. Too much text messaging, emailing, calling – “hello stalker girl”
Not attractive, you probably would not like it if he did that you.

10. Don’t over do it with the make-up and perfume. Most men do not want to smell like you or have to take his clean shirt to the drycleaners the next day from your makeup smudges and lipstick, plus he wants to see what you are going to look like in the morning if and when you have sex.

11. As much as you love shopping and shoes keep that conversation for your girlfriends.

12. Don’t drink to much on the first date.

13. Be a good listener but when speaking up, speak from the heart without attachment to the outcome. Definitely speak up!

14. Despite this laundry list my best advice is to be your fabulous self, why pretend to be someone else.

Choosing an Online Dating Service
by Noreen Ruth

If you're new to online dating, just the vast number of sites available for you to choose from can be daunting. To make the process easier the first and probably most important decision to make is to define exactly what you're looking to get out of a dating service. Are you looking for a lifelong relationship, a friend to share common interests, a sexual encounter or a chat buddy?

The top dating services. such as Yahoo! Personals, eHarmony and Match.com focus on one type of relationship. On these sites you know upfront what the other members are looking for when you make contact. If you are not exactly sure about your specific intentions, check out the sites that offer more than one type of relationship within the same site. Be sure you look for one that has the different communities separated so that you don't have to guess what the intentions of the poster may be.

Know Who You Want to Meet
Dating services will bring positive results only when you're able to see a mental picture of the person you would want to meet and find words to describe him or her in details that convey the traits that are most important to you. Consider not only the physical attributes of the person but their personality, lifestyle, hobbies, religious and political preferences. If there is one trait that is a 'must-have', consider searching for a dating service that specializes in bringing together people who share that common interest. The specialty dating services you can visit are as diverse as your imagination -- biker babes, vegans, pet-lovers, pagan, etc.

Site Features Make the Process Easier
Who has time to click through thousands of profiles to find the 'perfect' match? The tools that are offered on a site can make your search faster, more relevant and ultimately more fun. Matchmaking features offer you a way to 'fine-tune' your search so that you're not wading through profiles that are far from the results you're looking for. Some sites run your search on a regular basis automatically and send new prospects that meet your profile to your email. On a general dating site, you may receive several profiles each day. If, however, you opt to use a more 'serious' service (designed for people looking for a marriage partner), you may receive one or two matches a month.

Take Personality Tests As a way to help their clients learn about themselves and their potential partners, personality tests are offered. The more established sites often offer more insightful and detailed tests. The results of these tests, which are free with your membership, help to define compatible members. One thing to consider is whether the results are a good reflection of you, if so it stands to reason that the potential matches on the site will be reflecting their true nature, as well.

Check Out the Communications
Communication is the key to a great relationship. When choosing a dating service, consider what communication opportunities are included. If you're just trying out a service, you will probably be given limited ability to communicate (often limited to flirty icons and preset messages) with prospective dates to determine whether you want to continue at the next level which would require a subscription to the service. Once you subscribe, communication between members is usually with an on-site email or instant messaging. Typically, the more you pay for a service the more options will be available to you.

Entertainment Options If you're not looking for a serious relationship, there's still a place for you on many dating service websites. More and more sites are now offering chat rooms and forums to make friends. Entertainment features may also include quizzes, polls, contests, articles and newsletters.

Using the Service When Out of the Country
Established online dating services have extended their services into other countries around the world. You can connect in 27 different countries on Match.com; Yahoo! Personals has a new Canadian service. If you find yourself in another country, this service is a good way to chat in your native language.

Cost and Payment Options First look for free trials and try out all the features before committing to a service. The cost of using an online dating service is typically between $20 and $25 a month. With the cost pretty standard across the board, the value of your subscription is in the services offered that you will actually use. If you sign up for a service and don't take advantage of the benefits they offer, you're wasting your money. Look for discounts for signing up for several months or for joining with a friend. Some services accept money orders or checks, but most prefer credit or debit card payments.

More Resources
Be sure to explore the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section of the service you're considering. Visit the site and explore the options available. Don't stick around too long, if you aren't enjoying the experience. Check out a great dating service review site, http://www.dateshowcase.com - Compare Best Internet Dating Sites.

About the Author
Whether you're experienced with online dating-- or new to the internet singles scene, find everything you need to choose the best online dating services at www.dateshowcase.com.

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